


Something Blue

by LettersfromLaika



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 23:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11724468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LettersfromLaika/pseuds/LettersfromLaika
Summary: She had unfortunately been privy to many weddings in her youth. Massive pastel coloured monstrosities all of them, power struggles of Shakespearean proportions; hysterical brides desperately trying to wrest control from mothers, and mothers-in-law, aunts, and uncles.Weddings, Nomi had decided very early on, were one of the great scourges of her existence. Initially due to her distaste with the empty glamour of it all - and then - because they involved being stuffed into a suit. The tie tightened around her neck like a vice. The disapproving looks over her ear piercings. How she would try to grow her hair long for months, but her mother would insist on lopping it off every time - quickly - before the relatives came.No. Nomi had dreamed of many things in her childhood. But this wasn’t one of them.Nomi isn't sure whether to invite her parents to her wedding or not. The cluster weigh in. Bonus: Nomanita adorableness.





	Something Blue

**Author's Note:**

> So this drabble arose as part of a debate that my roommate and I got into. My position was (and still is) that Nomi shouldn't. My primary reason being that I didn't want to diminish or trivialize the importance of Nomi's found family - that it was ridiculous that she should owe her parents anything. I also wanted to portray the reality that for many transgendered people reconciliation may never be an option; not without compromising on core aspects of their hard won identity. 
> 
> My roommate made the argument that Nomi, being a fundamentally good person, would still reach out and try. That despite it all she would offer forgiveness, be the bigger woman as it were. 
> 
> Anyways - here is what I think the answer might be:

Nomi sat stiffly in her armchair, the scattered light thrown off by the stained glass lamp beside her sending speckles of blue and green across her face.

The warm glow also flickered across the little card, held tightly in her fingertips, although Nomi paid it no notice as she stared blankly into the wall opposite to her. 

It had been Neets’ idea to do handmade wedding invites. Nomi hadn’t really cared. She had never been the kind to dream of a giant cake, or matching table settings or what flavor of ice cream she wanted for dessert. When she thought about her wedding day the only thing that really stuck out was Neets.

Almost like it had already happened, Nomi could imagine her smile, the joy in her eyes, the laugher, the way that - without even trying - Neets would be the brightest thing in the room. 

Nomi had been all for eloping. Neets (and her massive party-loving family) had won. 

"It won't be that bad," Neets had wheedled, leaning over the edge of their bathtub, while Nomi, lounging in the hot water, had squinted at her through a haze of bubble bath and steam, "You might even enjoy it - it's us - I mean - it won't be all hoity-toity like those other weddings you have been to. Besides," and Neets had grinned, poking a finger past the foamy water to nudge at Nomi's ribs, "Remember how much fun your sister's wedding was?" 

Nomi had just rolled her eyes. But Neets (as per usual) did have a point. 

She had unfortunately been privy to many weddings in her youth. Massive pastel coloured monstrosities all of them, power struggles of Shakespearean proportions; hysterical brides desperately trying to wrest control from mothers, and mothers-in-law, aunts, and uncles. 

Weddings, Nomi had decided very early on, were one of the great scourges of her existence. Initially due to her distaste with the empty glamour of it all - and then - because they involved being stuffed into a suit. The tie tightened around her neck like a vice. The disapproving looks over her ear piercings. How she would try to grow her hair long for months, but her mother would insist on lopping it off every time - quickly - before the relatives came. 

No. Nomi had dreamed of many things in her childhood. But this wasn’t one of them. 

“What’s that?” Lito appeared beside her without any warning. A few months ago Nomi would have jumped. But now she just mutely handed him the card. 

“An invitation,” he said sounding confused, “But it is blank? Why?” 

Nomi gestured somewhat despairingly at the pile of craft supplies in front of her, “I am supposed to fill it in,” she signed helplessly, “We are doing everything by hand or through local small businesses, Neets says it is in protest of the corporate despotism of the marital institution.” 

“Fuck yeah,” Wolfgang was now lounging in the loveseat opposite her, a bottle of beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He sent her a sloppy salute paired with a heavy helping of irony. 

“But why is it blank?” asked Lito, who had ignored Wolfgang’s intrusion, and the fact that Nomi was now wringing her hands distractedly. 

“Because it is the one I was going to send to my mother and father.” 

“Ah.” 

“Fuck them.” Wolfgang shrugged, then blew smoke. 

Kala appeared beside him, letting out a surprised squeak at how close they were together.

It really was a small loveseat. Nomi had bought it because she had fallen in love with the floral upholstery. Neets had let her keep it because it made her sad to see it left behind at a yard sale. (Darling we can’t just leave it out there all by it’s self – what if it rains?)

“They are her family,” said Kala reprovingly, plucking the cigarette from his hands and putting it out on the ashtray he kept in his room. 

“What is family?” asked Sun, who was sitting with her legs crossed on the roof of some building in Seoul, “It is the people that love you, and protect you, the ones that make an effort to understand you, or is it the people that share your DNA?” 

“She has a point,” Will, settled in the armchair beside her. He was clearly on his coffee break, the Kevlar vest he usually wore was undone at the sides, and his belt was loosened a notch. "Although, obviously, family can be both." 

Nomi sighed. Clearly this was going to be a group discussion. 

“Do you want them there?” asked Lito. 

Nomi let out another sigh, “It is not that simple Lito-“ 

“Why not?” Lito raised his eyebrows, “It is your wedding. Shouldn’t you get to decide that at least?” 

“One would imagine so.” Nomi idly turned the card over in her hands. The group looked on, Capheus and Riley had joined too. Nomi suddenly felt a bit claustrophobic. 

“I just need to be alone for a bit,” she replied at last. “I need to think.” 

One by one the cluster departed, each offering her a smile, or a look of encouragement. 

Finally it was just her and Wolfgang. 

Wolfgang, who was now leaning forward on the couch, his elbows planted on his knees, head in hands, his face turned to the ground. 

“You have a question for me,” he said quietly, still looking at the floor. 

“Yes.” Nomi stood up and moved to sit beside him, walking as if approaching a wild animal: soft and slow. 

“So ask.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Wolfgang laughed without humour, he was still looking at the floor, “Don’t worry I can handle it.” 

“I feel like I understand you the least,” began Nomi, she caught herself twisting her fingers together anxiously and stopped, “And I know that if you had a choice, you wouldn’t have told any of us about it, so I am sorry to invade your privacy but –“ 

“Just ask.” Wolfgang’s voice didn’t betray any emotion but for a moment his one of his hands left his face to gently squeeze her knee. 

“Would you have invited him?” Nomi whispered, “Your father?” 

The hint of a grim smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, but other than that Nomi could not see his face. 

“My father,” Nomi saw his hands twitch, as if resisting the urge to hit someone. “The father I garroted, dragged into an alley and burned?” 

“So no then.” Nomi felt stupid for even asking. “Right, sorry I –“ 

“ – Some people,” Wolfgang interjected, turning to her suddenly, such that Nomi was abruptly confronted by a pair of very intense blue eyes. “Some people are just bad people. Nothing we can do about it.” 

Nomi rustled a hand through her hair, “They don’t think they are bad people. My father at least stood up for me once, and my mother, as horrible as she is does claim to love me.” 

“So you think you owe them an invitation for that?” 

“What? No – I just –“ 

“My father didn’t just hit me.” Wolfgang did not break eye contact, “It wasn’t like there was a daily schedule or some shit. Before my mother died, he wasn’t even that bad. Sometimes he would buy me a treat at the market, sometimes he would put me on his lap and we would watch the TV together." 

He shook his head slightly, "Did that make him a good man? Did that mean it made up for the times he would beat me until I cried and then beat me again for crying? He taught me everything I know about safes, does that mean it was ok that he liked to get drunk and then fucking come up to my room with a couple of his friends and -” Wolfgang bit off the end of his sentence with a snap of his teeth. 

Nomi flinched, but did not look away. 

“No. I would not invite him, even if he were alive. Because I don’t owe him shit. Because I don’t see why I should be trying to redeem him, just because we are related and he did me the basic service of not letting me starve. I don’t give a fuck about forgiveness, or about trying to have some perfect fucking family photo where we all hold hands and pretend we like each other. He hit me. He deserved to die.” 

Nomi let her mouth twist ruefully, “It all seems very simple to you doesn’t it? To me, it all feels so much more complicated.” 

Wolfgang half-smiled, “Kala says that too. I think it is because she thinks she can change the world.” 

“And you don’t?” 

Wolfgang only shrugged, “If I have it has never been in the way I intended. That’s a good way to go crazy – trying to fix other people.” 

Nomi frowned, “Then what is the point? Wouldn’t it have been better, changed things, if some one had come and helped you? If they came and saved you from your father?” 

“Someone did.” 

The room was growing dark. Nomi fiddled with the lamp beside her so she could better see his face. Wolfgang had finally looked away from her, playing with the beer bottle at his feet. He was alone in his room, something was sizzling on the stove, and the street outside was raucous. 

She noticed he had not relit the cigarette Kala had put out. 

“Felix did,” and his voice was barely more than a whisper. “He had no idea he was doing it. He didn’t think he was doing me a favour. He didn’t do it because it was the right thing to do. He just wanted to be my friend.” 

Nomi felt the bittersweetness from him more than she saw it. 

“Most people don’t want to be saved, not if it costs them their pride, but everyone wants to be a damn hero.”

A knock on Wolfgang’s door made him sit up straighter, “It’s your wedding. Do what makes you happy.” 

And with that he cut off the connection, just in time for Felix to barrel through the door, shouting joyously. 

 

Neets was standing in front of her waving a concerned hand across her field of vision. 

“Nomi? Baby? I can’t tell if you are having a panic attack over all the glitter glue or if you are taking a literal mental vacation, but you are starting to scare me.” 

Nomi blinked. “Can it be both?” 

Neets sighed and then plopped herself on to Nomi’s lap, nearly causing the latter to fall out of the loveseat as she did so.

“Yes, but I have a suspicion it is to do with the blank invite in your hands.” 

Nomi buried her face into her fiancées smooth skin; she smelled like Dr. Bronner’s soap and faintly of hemp seed oil. “Just tell me if I should invite my parents or not.” 

A dreadlock lightly whacked Nomi in the cheek as Neet’s vigorously shook her head. 

“Oh no, nope, not touching that one with a ten foot pole.” 

“Please Neets,” Nomi began to gently massage at the place where Neets’ bra straps ran down her back, just under the shoulder blades. This usually worked to dissolve any resistance. “Pleease” 

Neets heaved a great sigh, “Fine,” she shot Nomi an aggrieved look over her shoulder, “Fine.” 

Nomi shuffled back a little so Neets could turn to face her. 

“I would tell the pair of them...” 

“Yes?” prompted Nomi, when Neets trailed off poignantly, 

“I would tell the pair of them, but especially your bitch mother to take a long walk off a short pier.” 

Nomi let out an involuntary snort of laughter. 

“No seriously,” Neets tossed a chunk of hair over her shoulder, “Word for word – Dear Mr. and Mrs. Marks, it is with great pleasure, on this most loving and exalted day, that we cordially invite you to take a fucking hike. Awaiting your response with baited breath, love, Amanita Caplan and Nomi Marks.”

Nomi rolled her eyes. “That will go over well.” 

Neets grinned and unearthed a half-eaten bag of jellybeans from the craft store explosion that was their coffee table. “You wanted my opinion.” 

“I did,” Nomi distractedly helped herself to the bag when Neets offered. “But aren’t I supposed to be offering forgiveness and so on? Who will walk me down the aisle?” 

“Save it for people that actually deserve it.” Neets popped a handful of beans into her mouth. “Your dad acknowledging you as a human being once was sweet and all, but it still doesn’t make up for everything else. And no need to get me started on your mother...” 

Neets inserted a finger into her mouth to dislodge a rogue jellybean from her teeth. “And the whole father giving away the daughter thing is archaic and misogynistic bullshit.”

Nomi smiled fondly as Neets painstakingly tried to chew the blob of jellybeans and talk at the same time. 

“I know,” Nomi sighed. “But still... I can’t help but feel guilty. What does that even say about me?” 

Neets shifted a little so they could make eye contact, her expression becoming serious, “Honey, they aren’t my family, it is easy for me to hate them. So, my opinion doesn't really matter.” She placed a kiss on Nomi’s nose, “Whatever you do - I just want you to be happy.” 

“You sound like Wolfgang.” 

Neets disentangled herself from Nomi’s lap, snagging the bag of jellybeans as she did. “I have mixed feelings about that.” She grinned slightly as Nomi made grabby hands at the bag. 

“Me too.” 

Nomi pouted as Neets walked out of the living area. “Jellybean?” 

“Not til after dinner.” 

“Spoilsport.” 

“You love me.” 

“I do.” 

Neets grinned and made her way over to the stove, peeking into the oven. “Save it for the wedding day.” 

Nomi rolled her eyes affectionately and then returned to her silent contemplation of the invitation. 

“Noms? Archaic practices aside, if you need a dad...” Neets had her back turned to her, digging in a drawer for the oven mitts, “You can always borrow one of mine, I do have a few to spare.”

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 will be on it's way!


End file.
